Don't mention the T word

Man not charged as terrorist.

Staff and agencies loyal to HM establishment

Thursday February 22, 2007

A school caretaker was today not charged with terrorism for 12 offences of sending letter bombs in the post, according to the independent police protection authority. Miles ‘I like to drive’ Cooper aged 27, was also not charged under the terrorism act . Defence lawyers in statements to the media said this person could not be described as a terrorist due to his lack of Islamic appearance. ‘I mean come off it, he’s just a ginger geek- just look at his picture -not a islamofascistocryptonuclearterror ricin airplane boxcutter 7/7 plotter at all’. Cooper was instead charged with 12 offences against the Absolutely Non-terrorist Related Explosive Substances Act and the Offences Against the Non Muslim Person Act, the Crown Elocution Service said. The device were home-made unlike the devices alleged to have been used by the 21/7 islamofascistocryptonuclearterror ricin underground copcat plotters, which were manufactured in a bath from bleach, shoe polish, crayons and a dash of baby milk later also seized at a nearby airport. As a result of bombs sent to the DVLA, several people are believed to have been fined for not having car taxation documents. Mr Cooper aged 27 is believed to be a non-muslim and does not regularly wear a veil.

Tommorow’s feature: Do Muslim beards represent a biological ticking time bomb for the population?