The language of employment

The Ministry of cracking down on jobless brown people has declared that these people must learn to speaka the lingo before being allowed the benefit of sitting in a DSS office whilst seeking to deprive the government of its hard-earned National Insurance Income. Jim Murphy the junior minister for ethnic crackdown said it would tackle unemployability amongst the melanin-advantaged portion of the population.

Mr Murphy said it was completely unacceptable for these people to be speaking a foreign tongue whilst sitting in benefit claim offices. The savings from sacking the translators and linguists employed by the ministry could help these poor unfortunates become more familiar with proppa queens English init. Some of them could even train as translators and linguists after acquainting themselves with our mother tongue. The Libral party accused the government of not having a joined up government. “ It’s quite apparent that none of the parts of it are connected to any other, apart from Number 10 and 11 Downing street.” said Douglas McTurrburr. The shadow minister for opposing benches Mr Sam Hammock, commented that the government must make a carrot materialise as well as a stick. The stick in question is already beating single-parents for being unavailable to the market for jobs until their children are aged 14. Statistically this reduces the number of hard-working families and that is something that all parties have agreed to improve on. Mr Murphy’s superior, Mr John Mutton is currently on a fact-finding mission to Australia to see the model way in which they treat their immigrants, by diverting their leaking boats to holiday camps on an offshore island far from the Australian coastline. According to the Aussie ministry for immigrant transfer, this definitely helps improve their swimming skills and the camps ensure that the new arrivals get to know each other close up behind the barbed wire fences.