Thursday, January 25, 2007

Exclusive: Hell awaits surge

An exclusive interview for the Jahanumm Express with Prince Set has led to furor in the Netherworld. Prince Set speaking from the stately Tarturus Palace is said to be livid that despite earlier promises by Dick Cheney, no attack on Iran has yet emerged. He said it was clear that despite Netherworld agents being deployed to help with the political machinations, no military action appeared to be imminent. Clearly seething at this set back, the prince is to apply to the palace of Satanic Majesty King Sshytan Van Goatshead, for contingency funds of ҹ666 billion to speed up war plans. In contrast, the prince said he was overjoyed at progress in Iraq. Asked about the situation the prince said ‘A killing rate of up to 100 deaths a day is currently exceeding our expectations and the surge will clearly help improve on that. Give credit where it is due, George and Tony are doing a fantastic job in Baghdad. Lord Reaper has had to call in reinforcements to keep up with the demand for his services.’ In other news, Prince Lucifer has invested another ҹ56.9m in LieBig Industry Enterprises, which now controls over 90% of the media sector on Earth. Tony Bliar is also said to be investing heavily in LIE shares which have made record gains on the DIS market recently. A Downing street spokesman refused to confirm this saying that it was not government policy to comment on such matters. Demon’s Weekly editor Murkus Cambhell said the investment was necessary in order to allow him to pay back loan money from donor peers.


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