Sunday, April 01, 2007

Generous Prosecution

How fortunate is former kangaroo skinner turned terrorist, David Hicks? The prosecution at a secret USA military camp in Guantanamo Bay, have decided to be lenient and have asked for a sentence of 'substantially less than 20 years'. The prosecution insist that footsoldiers for the Taliban like Hicks should pay a penalty for having the wrong religion and fighting against an imperial invasion. The prosecutor, Air Force Col. Morris Davis, said:

"I'm absolutely certain (his attorney) is not conspiring with Mr. Hicks to commit perjury tomorrow in the courtroom when he testifies under oath abut his plea of guilty."
He went on to say:

"It's not the big strategic thinkers ... that have caused the deaths of thousands of people around the world," he said. "It's those tactical soldiers out on the front line that need to be held accountable."
Osama bin Laden and Mullah Omar are now looking forward to an amnesty for their crimes as they were both mere strategic thinkers in the war as opposed to the footsoldiers who did the fighting.

Defence lawyers were appointed by the prosecution and removed if they dared to suggest that any confession was extracted under duress or that there could be any hint of innocence on the part of the guilty defendant. However, this did not prejudice the trial at all and the presumed guilt was soon confirmed after a few years of detention in the hospitable camp X-ray. The generosity did not stop flowing and the guilty party will soon be allowed to serve his sentence in an Australian prison courtesy of that stalwart of The War Against Terror - John Howard. Further leniency was granted because Hicks despite his treachery had retained his white skin and prosecutors expressed confidence that eventually he can be reinstated as a typical Australian citizen drinking tinnies and hunting crocodiles like all good Australians do in the movies. George W. Bush is 60.


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