Clandestine Offspring Monitoring Act 2007
Government research shows that large numbers of Muslim elders have spent too much time peacefully praying five times a day. They have rather taken their eyes off the ball, resulting in an avalanche of extremism threatening to drown the UK within 45 minutes (or was that different pronouncement?). Praise be to Bruiser John Reid for having the guts to go to speak to an invited audience and to criticize a heckler by knocking down a straw man argument. This came in the wake of Reid's article in the prestigious journal 'The Sun' on the previous day, lecturing British Muslims about their clandestine civic duties. As this was an invited audience one wonders whether the known extremist with suitably large beard was admitted to the meeting deliberately. The extremist heckler in question apparently asked how Reid dared to visit a 'Muslim area'. Outraged poured from radio speakers all over the land. How dare these upstarts imagine that Bradford and other areas of ethnic concentration were parts of Pakistan or Saudi Arabia? JR retorted that he believed he had the right to visit any area in the UK and 'talk to people' i.e. lecture them about spying on their children as any responsible citizen should do. JR's reply, whilst seized upon with glee by the tabloids, is a classic example of do as you are told, not as we do. The reply came from a minister, in a government that allows no protests in parliament square, even from one bloke with a couple of cardboard placards, who camped there for years. I eagerly await JR's visit to poor white estates to lecture them on stopping their kids from getting drunk in the city centre and robbing or vandalising cars. What about catholic parents spying on their adult children in case they have some paedophilic tendencies? Nope, I can't see that happening either.