Readers indigestion exposes the bomb deniers

Zionazi Ehud Olmert has allegedly made a major gaffe by admitting something that the whole world knew about anyway. Poor Ehud let it slip that Iran was attempting to join the nuclear club that includes Israel. Afterwards Olmert rapidly backtracked saying:

"Israel has said many times - and I also said this to German television in an interview - that we will not be the first country that introduces nuclear weapons to the Middle East," Mr Olmert insisted. He added: "That was our position, that is our position - nothing has changed."

The critics were furious. Having invaded Lebanon and destroyed half the country without removing Hezbollah, he was not exactly popular anyway. This 'gaffe' leads to other zionazis from the righteous state condemning him for 'causing great harm'. Apparently the world did not believe Mordechai Vanunu who exposed the Israeli bomb decades ago and then spent 18 years in the slammer, after being abducted by Mossad.

In a hilariously comic turn of events Olmert's spokesperson, Miri Eisin said this did not mean Israel possessed or wanted to acquire nuclear weapons.

"No, he wasn't saying anything like that."

No. What he [Olmert] meant was the Israel had applied for membership of the club and got it without actually bothering to create a weapon. What a brilliant idea! Give the man a Nobel Prize [even one for peace so he could join other warmongers who have it]. Why go to the expense and the trouble of acquiring and building nuclear bombs, when you could just fill in the membership form and hey presto you have membership of an exclusive club. You are guaranteed that the IEAE inspectors will not visit because the USA has not asked them to. You will also be guaranteed billions of dollars in aid and weapons each year for putting down the natives. Each year the club will send you an automatic renewal notice and take your membership fee by direct debit to save you the trouble caused by forgetting to renew. Best of all each month you get a brand spanking new catalogue direct from Washington filled with the latest in fashion for weaponry and full of vouchers. I hear they have a good deal on bunker-busting mini-nukes this year. Auntie Maureen [Lipman] would love one of those for her birthday. The Russians have launched their own publication too, which is free to all subscribers. Polonium Weekly has been seen at the swankiest restaurants in London and joined the in-flight magazines of several airlines.